Arlington, Virginia
Sports Parenting Tips*

Arlington Little League embraces the philosophy that youth sports should effectively teach life lessons, such as self-control, responsibility, setting goals, exerting effort to prepare and perform (individually and as a team), learning skills, working to improve, and overcoming mistakes (or the fear of failure).

Within this framework, players’ parents can enhance the benefits that their children gain from playing baseball in Arlington Little League. Below are tips gathered from expert sources suggesting ways to be a supportive sports parent. As you read the tips and decide how to best support your child, realize that – as reported by a Sports Illustrated survey – “HAVING FUN!” is the overwhelming reason kids play youth sports, while one of the least important reasons is to be in a competition. Most children care very little about playing to win games or championships; they play to be appropriately challenged and have fun.

Indeed, children, as one sports expert discovered, most dislike several aspects about their sports experiences, including: (1) not receiving playing time equal to some of their teammates; (2) not improving and learning, and (3) being around parents or coaches who are too focused on winning. In part due to these reasons, 75 percent of all kids drop out of organized sports by the time that they turn twelve.
Interacting with Your Child
- Ask rather than tell: Let your child talk about his play by using open-ended questions after practices or games (e.g., What was the best part of the game for you?).
- Effort: Let your child know that you appreciate it when he tries hard.
- Overcoming mistakes: Point out and praise your child when he or she continues to put forth effort either after making a mistake and/or even though he or she was afraid of failing.
- Expectations: Recognize (and respect the fact) that your child may set goals and expectations for his or her play that have nothing to do with outcomes such as driving in runs or winning the game. For example, a player may simply want to overcome his fear of being hit by a pitched ball.
- Honor the game: Let your children know that you want them to honor the game. Honoring the game means to maintain respect for the spirit and letter of the rules, opponents, officials, teammates, and self – or ROOTS.
- Pre-Game: Allow your child to prepare for games in his own way. Some players become concerned before games about their performance; such concern is usually healthy in that it gives children experience handling pre-performance anxieties.
Helping Build A Positive League
- Parents can join in Arlington Little League’s efforts to benefit all of its players by cheering both teams when good plays are made, and after a game, praising individual players from each team for their good effort or heads-up play.
- E-L-M: Recognize that the value of a winning a game is secondary to all players’ development – and that effort, learning, and overcoming mistakes (E-L-M) are the principle goals for participants.
- Coaches Coach: Cheer during games; however, allow coaches to instruct players.
- Reinforce Effort: Try to cheer for good effort at least as much as, if not more, for praising good outcomes. (I.e., good aggressive swing instead of great hit.)
- Coaches Coach: Cheer during games; however, allow coaches to instruct players.
- Parents can join in Arlington Little League’s efforts to benefit all of its players by cheering both teams when good plays are made, and after a game, praising individual players from each team for their good effort or heads-up play.

 
Umpiring
- Respect for officials: When a mistake is made at a youth game, set a positive example for ALL children: be silent.
- ALL Teen Umpire Program: ALL’s Teen Umpire program provides this service for M2 children, but also the program works with and trains an outstanding group of teenagers under the supervision and guidance of a veteran Little League umpire. The training is designed to help umpires not only learn how to administer a youth baseball game, but more importantly grow more confident from handling stressful situations. Parent criticism of Teen Umpires sets a poor example for M2 players and is potentially harmful to this group of ALL children – just as would criticizing mistakes of any other ALL children. Indeed, M2 parents may help the program by occasionally thanking ALL’s teen umpires for their efforts.
- Life Lessons: Explain to your child that a “bad” call (as well as player errors or other challenges) is an opportunity for players and teams to learn that they must overcome worrying about the last play so they can focus on the next play.

Dealing with your Child’s Coach
- Support: Fill the emotional tank of your child’s coach by thanking him or her for making the extraordinary effort to be a good coach.
- Assistance: To maximize the ability of the coach to manage the team and instruct the team’s players, offer to assist the coach with on-, or off-, the-field team responsibilities, and let coaches know in advance whether players will miss (or be late to) games or practices.
- Team Policies: Be certain to attend the initial team meeting and understand the team’s policies, (e.g., how playing time is divided among the players).
- Expressing Concerns: If you need to speak to the coach, ask him or her the best time to talk; do not take a coach away from a practice or a game to talk. You may give your concerns about your child; however, respect the coach’s decisions.
- Coaching Your Own Child: Strive to be only their parent off the field, i.e., only coach them at games or practices (or if he specifically asks for advice at other times) – just as if they were a player on your team that was not your child.
*Player Training Coordinator and Majors 1 Commissioner, Arlington Little League, May 2003. Additional tips may be found in Fair Play: Making Organized Sports a Great Experience for Your Kids by Scott B. Lancaster (Prentice Hall Press 2002), and on the Web sites for The Positive Coaching Alliance (www.positivecoach.org/parents/index.html) and The Center For Sports Parenting (www.sportsparenting.org/csp/).